Dream

The other night I had a vivid dream. Ever since I was very young (6 or 7), nearly every dream I have remembered has involved some kind of corrupt government. Go figure.

Anyway, the dream started with Ellie and me in a concentration camp. There were many women there with their children. The men were held elsewhere. By chance, Ellie and I were able to escape. I remember running barefoot down a gravel road with her, trying to get away from the guards who were chasing us. Ellie complained about how the rocks hurt her little bare feet, and I wondered whether it would be kinder to let her slow down and risk getting caught, to force her to run as fast as possible, or to pick her up and carry her (which would also slow us down). I can still see the large, sharp gravel and the fields on both sides of the road...

I don't remember how, but we escaped the guards and miraculously met up with Mike. We didn't know how to find an American Embassy, so we headed for the nearest LDS chapel. (Apparently my subconscious sees the church as a refuge from corruption and evil.) As we expected, the members of the local ward were actively hiding and smuggling out families who were in danger from the government. I remember feeling incredibly grateful for the people who put everything on the line for us.

Our new friends were helping us find hiding places in the church building when we heard sirens outside and it became evident that the secret police had discovered that we were there. Mike hid on the bottom level of the building while Ellie and I hid upstairs. We heard the police yelling downstairs and knew they had discovered Mike. Then, someone saw me through a window and they came looking for us. Ellie was hiding on one side of the hall and I was hiding on the other. I had told her that it was vitally important that she stay completely silent, but she was so scared that she couldn't help whimpering a bit. The police came down the hall and I knew they would find us, so I stepped out and making the same kind of sound Ellie was, hoping they wouldn't notice her. Police were yelling and it was noisy and chaotic and I was terrified and couldn't tell what exactly was happening. There was so much noise everywhere...

A policeman put a pistol to my head and I knew it was the end. For a moment I thought desperately how much I wished this was all a dream, just a bad dream. I wondered what my life meant and who would remember me, and it occurred to me that I'd just had the bad luck to live when and where I did. In a way, my life was meaningless. Somewhere, someone in a safe, peaceful country would think about me and others like me and would feel sad and sympathetic for a moment, and then would forget us and push us out of mind because it's easier to think of nicer things.

All of this passed through my mind as I saw the barrel of that gun and wondered if my daughter would survive. And then the policeman pulled the trigger and I woke up.

..............

... And now here I am, living that dream in a way. Except that I am the one in the safe, peaceful country, while some other mother is in a war-torn nation with a gun at her head, her husband dead, and her child about to be discovered. There are so many mothers like her, and it is only luck that gives her the bad end of the stick and gives me my comfortable, peaceful life.

Will I just push these women out of mind? It's so much easier to think of nicer things.

No creatures here!

Every night when Ellie says her prayers, she has a certain set of "please bless"es that she includes. Usually it goes like this:

"Please bless that the fire alarm won't go off.
Please bless that there won't be any monsters or ghosts or beetles or snakes or creatures.
Please bless that my boo-boos will get better.
Please bless that Grandpa U. won't have any cavities in his teeth.
Please bless that Grandma H. won't have any strange problems with her computer."

I think the last two are probably Ellie's way of showing love to her various sets of grandparents. But why the teeth, why the computer? Beats me. All I know is that Grandpa U.'s teeth are probably the most prayed-for teeth in the country, and Grandma H.'s computer may have a special spiritual firewall!

Nursing Things

Here's another Ellie photo, from her ballet class performance. What you might not notice from this picture, is that Ellie has stuffed two scarves from the dance down the front of her leotard. She does this at home sometimes and walks around talking about her "big nursing things!" In fact, the other day, she looked at a Cinderella figurine and asked, "Mommy, why are her nursing things so big? She has bigger nursing things than you!"

Stupid Disney.

Ellie Belle

Here's a belated photo of the beautiful Belle in all her Halloween glory. Ellie and her friend Michelle from Tucson traded costumes this year. Yes, this dress is homemade. (Katy, you are simply awesome!)

Independent children and the impending election

Last week we were all in the car, and Maile and I were having a conversation about the upcoming election.

"What's an election?" Ellie asked.

"An election is when we get to decide who will be our leader, who will be in charge." I answered.

After a moment of thought, Ellie declared, "I want Sarah Palin to be our leader."

"Why do you want Sarah Palin to be our leader, Ellie?" asked Maile, very amused.

"She looks and talks like Daddy's mother."

She had first pointed this out as we watched Palin's speech at the Republican convention online at the kitchen table together. It's quite true: had my mother stayed in Alaska instead of leaving when I was a one-year-old she might have been governor by now. :-)

Ellie's opinion on the matter was quite funny to hear, because it stands in stark contrast to our own. We both voted for John McCain in the 2000 primary and would have been thrilled to have had him as our president these last eight years instead of Bush. However, in this electoral cycle we are proud supporters of Obama:

Maile, a hard-working community organizer here in the Village, was less than impressed by Palin's remark during her convention speech about community organizers not having any responsibilities, hence the bumper sticker at top. I've been less than impressed with pretty much everything Palin has said thus far.

Our Halloween treat was the arrival of the latest issue of The Economist, which--to our happy surprise--endorsed Obama (they have long been big fans of McCain). Maile was so excited she made a copy of the cover and taped it in the window for all the trick-or-treaters to see.

It's good for children to grow up and have an opportunity to form their own opinions. We're pleased that our parents don't give us a hard time about not being registered in either party and frequently (but by no means always) voting for Democrats. We have fully intended to follow that example and allow Ellie that same respect and space.

We just didn't expect that she would forge her own independent political path quite so early. :-)

Halloween 2008

Since Halloween fell on a Friday night this year, our ward had our Halloween activity the previous Friday, the 24th. Many kids, parents, and couples were dressed up. Most families had unified themes: all ghosts, or all Harry Potter related, or all pirates, or--a Berkeley Ward favorite--all hippies.

We, in contrast, could not settle on a single family theme. Nope, we had three. Above you can see Ellie dressed as a lovely Belle, of "Beauty and the Beast" fame. Maile appears as a farmer, carrying Benjamin the sack of potatoes. I was Vendetta from Making Fiends.


Maile correctly points out that my Halloween costumes of late have been more obscure with each passing year. A few people did manage to figure out who I was--including the bishop--primarily due to my efforts to popularize the show. If you haven't yet seen it, by all means visit www.makingfiends.com and check it out.

We had a great time, and Ellie collected ample amounts of candy. :-)

Happy Halloween from Benja-Pumpkin!

On Tuesday Ellie's preschool class had a field trip to the pumpkin patch. Ellie got to ride on a pony, jump in a jumping castle, and feed the animals. (More photos to come!) Benjamin was pretty patient with the whole deal -- as long as his tummy is fed, he's a happy little guy. He was definitely my favorite pumpkin in the patch.